The tragedy that happened in Georgia this past weekend probably shouldn't affect me as much as it has. Unfortunately, murders - even of children - happen all the time all over the world. Not to say I'm ambivalent, but it takes a lot for something to bother me. The murders of Nancy and Daniel Benoit did, in many ways.
The details are readily available on any online news outlet, and really don't bear repeating here. Suffice to say, the evidence suggests that Chris Benoit - beloved and respected professional wrestler, Chris Benoit - committed not one, but two acts of the most heinous evil. He murdered his wife; then he took the life of his seven year old son, who suffered from Fragile X syndrome (and who the police are suggesting Benoit was pumping with growth hormones) a day later. A further day after that, Chris Benoit committed suicide. In between, however, he is said to have sent text messages to co-workers, crying off a PPV appearance that night, Sunday, on account of his wife and child being "sick".
I'm an avid fan of pro wrestling - I follow it, I blog about it, I argue on messageboards and with my real life friends about it. As such, I have an inkling of the darkness that lurks in the hearts and minds of some of the performers - the stress and drug dependencies that come with a 300-day-a-year road schedule; the inability to distinguish between self and character that seems to affect so many of the top-tier performers. If you had asked me a week ago today, who would I never suspect to be embroiled in any kind of scandal, the first name out of my mouth would have been Chris Benoit.
The man had an old school air about him - he was the man of the people. He didn't have the Hollywood look, he didn't have the charisma, he didn't have the size - but he had the talent, he had the work rate, he had the respect for the traditions of the business. But - and this has latter become a chilling detail - he always seemed as if he was FOR REAL. As if, in a real situation, Benoit could forego the tricks that made his wrestling performance 'safe' and really hurt someone if he had to. He was the man to cheer for - the perpetual underdog in the ring and in the WWF/E locker room. Regardless of what happened this past week, I make no secret of the fact that Chris Benoit was a man I respected above almost any other in the pro wrestling business, and a performer who could get me excited about pre-determined matches...
And now that's all meaningless.
It sounds ridiculous to even think, but this horrific event has taught me that you can never truly know what a person is capable of. I never knew Chris Benoit, never met him, and only ever saw him perform live once. My relationship with him was with his 'character' - variously referred to as The Canadian Crippler or The Rabid Wolverine - whom I saw every week on RAW or SmackDown. But I feel let down, and almost embarrassed, and it's a strange feeling.
You see, from 2000-2006, if any non-wrestling fan would have asked why I watched pro wrestling, I would have directed them to the efforts of several performers. Chris Benoit would have been at the top of the list. Here was a man who lived for a business that so many reviled, but in his love for it and commitment to it, he somehow legitimised it. It was through Benoit that, sometimes, you could see what it was all about, why people loved it and became obsessed with it - why they wanted to be wrestlers. And now that man, who so many people vouched for as the man who justified this profession that is, actually, inherently silly, goes and does something like this...
I don't know what was going through Chris Benoit's mind when he murdered his wife and son. To be honest, I don't care. At the end of the day, I'm a wrestling fan, and my feelings on the matter mean nothing. I won't pretend this hasn't thrown me for a loop, but I recognise that I feel more than I perhaps should. Bear in mind, the man has two older children from a prior relationship - what must they be going through, trying to contemplate what kind of man their father revealed himself to be with his last actions? There's been an outpouring of opinions and debate among the IWC, but I truly think it's time for everyone to shut up and let the surviving members of the Benoit family salvage something from their life. This is not a wrestling issue, so far as I can see - I completely reject the theory that Benoit was in the throes of a weekend-long steroid rage - and wrestling fans shouldn't let it become one. For, in death, Chris Benoit removed himself from the business completely. The wrestler and performer may have been a supremely talented individual, but the man behind it - whom we so supported - was a monster. And there's no getting away from that...
Eric Bischoff said in his blog, "God bless Nancy and Daniel. God forgive Chris Benoit."
I agree with the first part.
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